As the title suggests, I've been putting off blogging for a while. The constant excuses seem to keep popping up - 'I have too much work to do' - 'I have to clean the house' - 'it's too late now' - 'I have to read xyz.' Of course there can be good reasons for putting things off since timing is important and I can’t do everything at once – but if you’re anything like me there are things that you know you probably should be doing that you’re simply procrastinating about. IN FACT right this minute my brothers are calling me too watch Shutter Island with them and ditch blogging. It seems that I never get a 'me' time, where I could simply sit and reflect on my life and its daily ongoings. Even when I am alone, I always seem to find myself occupied with other things, whether it's cleaning the house, reading a book or simply watching something on telly. Every time I sit down to writing something, I never get past the 'title' stage (I have notebooks with about 10 different plans that never eventuated).
Why didn’t I do it? Was it laziness…. or busyness….? If I’m honest about it, I’m sure it’d be a bit of both of those things – however I suspect it was also partly fear that held me back. Fear? Of what, you'd think?
Fear of writing and being misunderstood. Funnily enough, when it came to debating current issues, I've always been able to articulate myself in a good way. I've been outspoken with my friends, confident in my views and never refrained from defending what I honestly and truly believed in. But putting my thoughts on to paper seemed really difficult because THAT WAS IT, once you clicked the 'publish post' button, those words that you so easily constructed in your mind, would be displayed on the world wide web and perhaps even taken out of context. I had to rely on the words on the page to express meaning and ideas and this seemed far too restrictive and would require following a standardised form of grammar, structure, organization, and vocabulary. In the 'real world', speech was free from boundaries, I would use my voice and body language to communicate my message, emphasising on certain words or raising/lowering my tone when needed. I loved the spontaneity of speech, it was unplanned and free. And most importantly, I KNEW my audience and I had many opportunities to convey my opinion, even if misunderstood at first.
Actually – saying I was too busy might sound a bit better – I sound very conscious! But in the end – I knew that if I didn’t continue with my blog that I’d be kicking myself later. The time came for me to draw a line in the sand and just do it. I don’t have any secret strategies for getting over the hump of getting myself into gear really - well, except a change in attitude and a bold writing on my cupboard written with permanent marker!